Hmm. Must be the right place. (Curtis
rings the bell)
Cowboy: Curtis! How the heck are you?
Curtis: Hey Cow! Yow, nice pad.
Cowboy: Man, it's great to see you! What's
going down? I've heard rumours about a Curtis Suburban record release
party. Are they true? I'm just dying to go! I can't wait!
But, enough of all this chatter. Sit down. Can I offer you
a drink? Maybe I can offer you an entire bottle of Pernod?
Curtis: Wow! Thanks, Cow! You're the best!
Cowboy: Well, actually, it's my only bottle,
and it's empty. I'm sorry. You know, it's this darn dog.
Drinks like a sieve. Some people think they're dumb brutes, but I
gotta tell you that this darn pup is the craftiest pooch I have ever known.
Here it is, the middle of the day and that pooch is pickled. Just
take a look at him:
Pooch: UUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP! (slobber)
Ahhhhh. PPPHHHHfffrrrrpppt! (slobber)
Cowboy: I mean, watch this. I'm holding
a fresh, rare steak in my hand and there's absolutely no action.
C'mon boy! Jump! Jump for the love of all that is wholesome!
Look! No action! No action whatsoever. I mean COMPLETELY
numb. Blotto. Can't even keep it's tongue in it's mouth.
Poor thing. Well, at least the alcohol keeps his breath fresh.
Cowboy: I mean, what's a guy to do?
My dog is stinking drunk. There's no denying it. Goddamn slob
of a beast. Man's best friend? I mean, uh - hmm, slobs.
That reminds me. At least I've got one thing to depend on in this
world. There's one group of friends that would never let me down
- well, at least they haven't snuck into my pad and drunk all my hooch
without telling me like this hammered Pooch here (gesturing to the foul
beast). Why, yes - and I think you know who that group of reliable
friends is - why, it's SOUR JAZZ!
(See inset photo in inset photo)
Cowboy: And, yessir. Here it is. The
real deal. Curtis, I offer you "ROCK'N'ROLL LIGGER"!!. It's
raw. It's subtle. It's compleat. It's produced by Daniel
Rey. It's SOUR JAZZ. It's profiled at www.sourjazz.com.
It's my rock in a hard place. Have you ever known it's solace?
My only hope is that, in the future, you will find it as comforting as
I have in trying times.
Curtis: Sour Jazz, eh? Hmm.
Solace in trying times? And I thought it was just great rock.
Cowboy: Great rock, yes. But it's also much, much more. Let me show you (gestures to the window)...
Cowboy: You know, it was out there.
We recorded it out there. Can you see Daniel from here? I know
he's very small from this perspective, but the sound he gave us was BIG,
BIG, BIG! HEY! (yelling out the window) HEY! DANIEL!! UP HERE!! What
am I doing? He can't hear me from here.
Cowboy: Anyway, you get the idea.
But, what's all this I hear about Curtis Suburban? Rumours are flying
wildly on the street. Some talk of a record release party or something.
Sounded like it was for two records, but I'm not sure. I was hoping
that you could set the record straight.
Curtis: Well, Cow! That's what I'm here
to tell you about! There WILL be a Curtis Suburban record release
party! And soon! Saturday, July 16, 2005! 3-7pm at the
CONTINENTAL (3rd Ave and St.Marks Place)!!! And yes, there are two,
count 'em, two records! There will be cd giveaways, weird prizes
and wild support acts like "Venice Beach Muscle Club" and the "Teenage
Prayers"!! Can you believe it?
Cowboy: Wow! Two cds you say! Will wonders never cease? Where, praytell, are my copies of these gems?
Curtis: Cow, I've got 'em right here for
you, chief. Your very own copies of "Breakfast with Curtis" and "Perfect
In My Mind"! Just keep them away from that loopy pooch - he's liable
to try and pawn them.
Cowboy: Holy ships! That's great.
Hey, while I've got you here, how do you feel about autographing my copy
of the Pillbox 10 inch?
Curtis: Uh, sure, Cow. Anything for you.
Are you sure you want me to write on this thing? Yeah? O.K.
then. Let's see. To Cowboy and his rocked out hooch pooch -
rock on and all that jazz - much love - signed, Screamin'.
Pooch: HHHHHUUUUUurrrrraaaggggg!! (slobber)
Cowboy: Take care, Curtis!
Curtis: You too, Cowboy. And thanks for the bottle!
Cowboy: Just make sure the pooch is back
by midnight.
* * *
**BONUS TRACK FOR THOSE WHO MADE IT TO THE END !!!**